The House on the Moor
by Random Minion
Summary: At the end of Harry’s 4th year, Sirius is sent from Hogwarts, plagued by his own demons and worries over the resurgence of Voldemort. His journey takes him to the house of an old love. Can feelings survive 13 years in Azkaban? SB/RL COMPLETE w/Raunchine
1. Sooner or Latter

Chapter One: Sooner or Latter  
  
Wind whipped across the moor on a day in late June; the sun was setting throwing the uneven terrain into dark relief against the colour-washed sky. Despite the warm sun that the day had brought, the wind had taken full advantage of the rolling ground to rush up and down the small dales and over the tops of the tores unhindered by woods, like an obstreperous child escaped from his parent's watchful eye.  
  
Through the gorse and blooming heather trotted a big black dog. Its hair was matted and there were burs embedded in its fur; for all this the dog's coat was thick, but it did little to hide the animal's half-starved frame. Its ribs corrugated the skin under which they lay without the subtlety of fat. Its tongue lolled as it doggedly trotted onwards, unwavering from its unknown goal and only stopping to lap at the occasional trickle in some hidden vale.  
  
The dog, as I am sure you have all guessed by now, was of course not a dog at all, but a wizard, and not just any wizard. He - for it was undoubtedly a he - was none other than Sirius Black, convicted criminal, suspect Death Eater, godfather to The Boy Who Lived, and sent out by Dumbledore, current head master of Hogwarts and one of the greatest wizards who ever lived, to search out and inform one Remus Lupin as to the resurrection of Lord Voldemort - a name that in and of itself holds so much terror that it is scarcely to be described by a few passing adjectives. But seeing as you, the dear reader, are probably already well aware of these facts the author will no longer bore you with such obvious details, and will presently return to the story at hand.  
  
Sirius, who as we have already established is none other than an unregistered Animagus, paused at the top of a ridge in the land that lay slightly above the rest. The wind child whipped play fully through his fur, and he shivered as if it had dumped a pail of cold water over him before racing away with a playful giggle as it rustled the grasses. The chill at this height was unpleasant, but the discomfort was necessary. Dumbledore had said that Lupin had taken up residence in the area, and currently inhabited a small moorland cottage with no registered address - its seclusion being necessary insuring to as high of a degree as possible the safety of all during times of a full moon. This of course meant that finding the cottage was difficult at best, unless you had an owl to guide you.  
  
Black surveyed the landscape. The reds and oranges that had filled the sky were quickly darkening into the rich purples and violets of night. After dark even travelers of the four-legged variety would find navigation difficult, for sudden dips and unfriendly holes made walking risky and uncertain. In this remote place paths were unreliable and would as easily lead you astray as deliver you to safety. So it was with a look of urgency that the dog Sirius pushed on into the gathering dusk.  
  
***  
  
It was now full dark and strange sounds had come to fill the place of the fading daylight, bringing with them an ominous quality that seemed to fill the vast moor. One could see how an infant, out at night, might fear lions hiding behind the gorse and giant elephants looming to trample passers by. Sirius however was too old for such flights of fancy and merely pushed on, his dog's mind perhaps more concerned with his empty belly then in the imaginings of unseen terrors.  
  
The dog's sensitive ears pricked at the faint trickle of water somewhere in the shrouds of darkness to the right, and tongue lolling, it once more bent his steps towards it. A great spiky bush loomed ahead snagging in his shaggy fur as he passed. Somewhere behind him was the rustle of another creature. The dog quickened its pace - perhaps from concern as to what was behind him; perhaps in eagerness to get to his immediate goal. Smaller sounds were all around him: the rustle of wind through the heather, the scuttle of mice or smaller animals along the ground, and once again the swish as he brushed against another looming and indistinguishable bush. Nonetheless, above them all, the larger sound seemed to follow the dog's progress: a ghostly, unseen stalker in the night.  
  
As suddenly as it had begun, the rustle behind him had faded, as if turning back whence it came, and the dog's pace slowed. The rush of moving water was now much plainer; abruptly the land dropped off from beneath the animal's feet and he was sent scrabbling down a loose dirt incline. Splash. Water was in his mouth filling his ears - all around him. For a moment the dog was unable to tell which way was up and which down, left suspended in the rapidly flowing water all around him.  
  
Panicked movement filled its tired limbs, and after what must have seemed like an age, a wet and shaggy head broke the surface of the water. Aware of his surroundings once again, the dog paddled weakly towards the eroded bank. The water could not have been more than three feet deep, though it looked reluctant to release its canine prey.  
  
Paddling, Sirius was at last able to land his paws on the pebbled bed of the stream. Emerging sodden, he flopped down on the earth flat . oblivious to the light that was bobbing disembodied from fifty yards away. It swayed closer and closer, until eventually the dog stiffened, scrambling up. The light was only thirty yards from him; he scrabbled up the bank into the abundant low growth. With Voldemort returned from the dead, one could never be too careful.  
  
Within fifteen yards it could be seen that a lone man carried the lantern, but his details were still undistinguishable. He appeared to be wearing some sort of large, long, loose-fitting garment that hid his exact form and blurred his outline, meshing it into the surrounding darkness. For a moment more the dog rested, still, in what looked to be a state of canine indecision. Then, borne by sudden burst of energy, it sprang forth. Bounding down the low bank scattering clumps of dirt to race towards the lantern bearer yipping and barking back across the rill. This time it was to surprise and to try and repossess the dog as he swam. The man stood as if stunned for a second, long enough for the dog to bowl him over, making him fall bodily back into the soft, wet earth of the streambed.  
  
"Sirius? Sirius, Sirius, is that you?" the man who had formerly being holding the now extinguished lantern, questioned. His voice was one that sounded used to gentle droning, but was now raised in a surprised and urgent question.  
  
The dog, of course, did not respond, unless you count the effusive display of licking and tail wagging. After a moment, however, the man seemed not at all unhappy to rise; this can hardly be considered surprising, seeing that he too now was as wet as his newly acquired companion.  
  
"Come on then," the man mumbled, fumbling for the extinguished lantern in the soft earth. "Merlin's beard, Sirius, you didn't have to push me into the stream; you ruined my matches." The dog only wagged its tail as if to signal its good-humoured assent. Sighing, the man straightened, and so by the dim starlight, the man and the dog made their way back alongside the stream; they came to a small cottage that stood half hidden in a slight dip in the land. Although it was the height of summer, entering, they both seemed happy to be hit with the blast of warm air from the fire still burning defiantly in the great of the small hearth.  
  
"You can change now, Sirius; it's safe. There isn't another soul for miles." With that, the big shaggy dog promptly transformed into a big, shaggy wraith of a man with lively, dancing eyes.  
  
"Remus, it's good to see you," he said jovially. "You haven't by any chance got something to eat? I had almost despaired of finding you tonight."  
  
"Yes, I have, but somehow, I doubt it will be enough." The one called Remus ran an appraising eye over his companion. "Perhaps you would like to clean up first. You look like hell." The last words seemed out of place, having been spoken in the same soft tone, but if the former dog had noticed anything amiss, he gave no sign.  
  
"From that look you're giving me, I think I stand a much better chance of getting fed if I do." Grinning through his shaggy beard, the speaking man gave a light chuckle.  
  
"You know me too well, Sirius. The shower is in that room. Be careful of the hot water; it's very hot when it comes. Oh, and the shower head can be a bit temperamental."  
  
"That is the inevitable consequence of planting yourself a million miles from civilization."  
  
At this, the fairer man gave him a reproachful look as if he had truly expected better of him.  
  
"Come, Sirius; you know I couldn't do that. I would be putting people unnecessary danger." The calm of his voice was coloured with just a tinge of hurt. Sirius frowned through his beard and mumbled an apology before turning in the direction of the bathroom. Half hidden by the mass of dark hair that straggled down from his chin, Sirius looked remorseful. Closing the bathroom door behind him, he let his shoulders slide a bit, relaxing the ever-present tension that was bred of living in fear of recapture.  
  
The bathroom like the rest of the house was clean and sparsely decorated but still managed to reflect a welcoming feeling of safety and reassurance, much like its quiet owner. There was a cupboard of near threadbare towels and an old straight razor that would have long since lost its edge, but for the occasional sharpening charm; the soap, though cheap, gave off a nice, pleasant smell.  
  
Shedding his clothes in an untidy heap on the cold worn tiles of the floor, Sirius stepped into the small, griffin-footed bathtub. The knob squeaked as the water gushed out of the old tap; it was, at first, unbearably cold . so cold that the man curled his toes and scooted to the other end of the bathtub. After a minuet, the water grew warm, and finally hot. Drawing the curtain, he pressed the lever that diverted the water back up into the showerhead, to spurt out in great droplets over the overly lean form. For a moment steam wafted in pleasant waves, with the tub occupant obviously just content to stand under the warming flow.  
  
This pleasure was not to last. With a sudden shudder, the pipe shook and the water once more gushed out the faucet. Sirius pressed the lever down a second time, a baffled look on his face. A thunk . then, again, nothing. A horrified expression crossed over his face and swearing, he glanced guiltily around the bathroom.  
  
"Remus, I don't know what happen but the water won't work," he called tentatively. Moments later, steps shuffled up to the bathroom door and it opened, carefully.  
  
"What is it, Sirius?" Remus asked. "You didn't burn yourself, did you?" He looked concerned as he glanced over his sodden and naked friend. His wet robes had now exchanged for fresh dry ones, but of the same worn variety. If he was at all embarrassed by the other other's lack of dress, he did not show it. Stepping into the room he examined the faucet that was now making strange chugging sounds.  
  
"No. I'm fine. But the ruddy water won't run." He seemed to pause, as if hesitant to ask. "It isn't broken, is it?"  
  
Remus looked amused. "No, but I think the binding charm that held the lever down has given up." Deftly taking out his wand, Remus re-charmed it with a wave and moved to go. "Will you be all right?" he asked as the water once more ran in a steaming rain over Sirius's form.  
  
"I'll be fine," he mumbled.  
  
As Remus left, he stooped to pick up Sirius's discarded clothes as if by instinct, and spoke again. "The potions are all on the stool on the other side of the bath. The purple one is a simple cleaning one; the other is for your hair. There is a comb too. Do you want me to trim your hair after we eat?"  
  
A waterlogged affirmative could be heard from behind the curtain. With that, Remus left to search out some robes, having come to the obvious conclusion that the present rags he held were far beyond even his skill to salvage.  
  
***  
  
Sometime later, when the water would no longer run warm and was descending by degrees into a state of near frigidity, the shower could be heard to stop. Sirius emerged, damp hair still matted, and wrapped one of the faded towels around his gaunt frame.  
  
"Remus, I know that no one can resist me, but you didn't need to steal my clothes to get my attention," the man called as he stood dripping and all squeaky clean before the little living room's tiny hearth. Slightly pink, the other man approached, his arms full of what looked at first glance to be a bundle of rags.  
  
"Sirius, please," he said, holding out the rags, which turned out to be a set of very worn robes. For all their age, they wafted an air of clean fresh cotton and summer sunshine that made one feel comfortable. Taking them, the taller man let his towel fall into a damp puddle at his feet, and deftly pulled the under-robes over his head and up around his waist. The over-robe was several inches too short in the arms and had Sirius not been so malnourished it surely would have caused problems in other places, despite being visibly two or three sizes to big for the fair middle aged man to whom it belonged.  
  
"Thank you, my dear Moony; knew I could count on you. But, really, there is no need to be so chaste," he finished, with a grin, his eyes holding an unholy glee when he perceived his long time friend's blush.  
  
"I thought you were hungry," the other replied, nonplussed.  
  
"The devil himself would be hard-pressed to find to find a hungrier soul."  
  
"In that case, come sit down. I hope you don't mind eating in the kitchen; I always find it so much more comfortable. Seeing as you must have something of great importance to tell me, judging from your spontaneous appearance, why not be comfortable while we talk?" For a moment, Sirius just looked struck, as if he had forgotten something very important indeed - which of course he had. Then he cursed, but his words held more fear than anger.  
  
"Merlin's bloody bones, how in the world I managed to forget is beyond me, but, yes, the kitchen seems the best idea. You might want to find some Goblin's Old before you do too. I have a feeling that we will be needing it." He scowled darkly, all traces of humour gone, causing Remus to shoot him a worried look as the two moved through the doorway separating the living room from the kitchen to begin dinner.  
  
***  
  
The cottage was tiny and of a rectangular nature, only big enough to boast three rooms and a tiny hall, bathroom and hayloft. This, of course, meant that each room had two windows offering different views; seeing as our story is at present set in the dead of night, however, nothing was visible. The dark void in the otherwise friendly walls seemed to add a foreboding presence to the otherwise pleasant room; Sirius' glance seemed to often stray to it nervously as he waited for dinner to be prepared.  
  
At last Remus entered, smiling proudly as delicious scents accompanied him caused the man on the couch to tear his eyes from the empty window and fan out his nostrils in appreciation. As the two entered the kitchen, they were assailed with more pleasant odours, of things that bake and sizzle and bubble.  
  
Casting his friend a worried look, Remus moved to scoop the bubble and squeak onto a large earthenware plate that had been warming on the stovetop. He also dolled out generous portions of stew into mismatched bowls and fishing in a drawer for cutlery as he did. Sirius had taken a seat and was scowling at the scrubbed tabletop.  
  
"Here, eat. You can explain later. There's stew too. Bread?"  
  
Sirius nodded. "Yes, thank you." He mumbled distractedly, shovelling the fried cabbage and potatoes into his mouth with his hands. Setting the steaming stew bowl beside the fast emptying plate, Remus moved to catch Sirius. The other man snarled.  
  
"What in the name of the nine." Sirius snarled, glaring at Remus for interrupting his brooding and his eating. The fair man merely looked passively put out as he held out something to Sirius in his left hand  
  
"This is a fork; we use it to eat." He set it gently beside Sirius's plate. "And that," he said pointing to a worn silver spoon that rested beside his bowl, "is a spoon. I'm sure you'll recall how to use them both." With that he released his friend, who was now chuckling. "And slow down," Remus added, "or else you'll end up bringing it all back up later. " This however seemed to fall on deaf ears, since the object of his reprimand appeared to have resumed his all-out attack on the bubble and squeak.  
  
***  
  
Dinner having slowed down a bit after an interesting episode of sudden ill health on the part of the famished party, they had turned to talk. Remus was now pressing Sirius for the reason behind his sudden presence, while the latter seemed more intent making on the former relinquish his firm grip on the keys to the lacquer cabinet, which stood in the library visible through the open kitchen door. It would have perhaps been funny if each were not so deadly earnest.  
  
"It's Harry, isn't it?" Remus demanded. "I can tell by the way that you just flinched when I mentioned his name. Tell me what's happened!"  
  
"And as I said before, I am not going to tell you anything until both of us have had a drink," Sirius replied, looking grim.  
  
"Dumbledore must have sent you; he's the only one who knows were I am. What could have possibly facilitated such a necessity?"  
  
"It's been a wonderful dinner and I thank you heartily, but on reconsideration I think it would be best if I don't tell you tonight, because I, for one, want to avoid thinking of my news at night as much as possible or be sober, for that matter."  
  
"Fine then, if getting you drunk is the only way you'll talk, but I want you to know that I hate it when you do this. You have no idea what an unmanageable drunk you are." At Remus's last comment, a sickened grin broke through Sirius' hitherto grim expression.  
  
"Here I thought you quite enjoyed it, " he added, the twinkle back in his dark eyes.  
  
"Now, Sirius," Remus said firmly, but unable to hide a furious blush. "I am not going to let you distract me. Now tell me what has happened that is so dire that Dumbledore did not simply sent me an owl."  
  
Sirius merely gave a tap to his empty water glass.  
  
Sighing heavily, the fairer man rose heading through the door, fumbling in his robes for his keys as he did so.  
  
"In all honesty, I don't understand why you leave it locked when there is never anyone here," Sirius's voice called from the kitchen, over the clatter of plates.  
  
"Old habit," came the somewhat wistful response.  
  
"You always were too responsible for your own good."  
  
"It comes as penance for a misspent youth," was Remus' rueful rejoinder. At this a decidedly derisive snort could be heard above the sound of running water. There was a squeak and a splash as plates slipped into the water; then, for a moment, there was silence. Perhaps both parties were lost in memories of times past, but as the author does not think it is moral to use her powers to look inside their minds over anything so private and nonessential to the plot, it is impossible to tell the true reason and silence rested, uninterrupted for several minutes.  
  
"Are you coming in here or am I to go in there?" Sirius called, breaking the hush.  
  
"Er - I'm sorry." Keys jingled and the old hinges of the liquor cabinet squeaked. "Do you have a preference as to which facilitator you use to reach your longed-for state of inebriation?"  
  
"You know what I like. Stop talking like a pompous ass; you sound as bad as that batwings vampire impersonator Snape."  
  
"Goblin's Old it is then." Remus chuckled. "How is the old devil, and when are you going to stop this stalling and tell me why you are here in the first place?" Here he paused before adding almost coyly, "Not, of course, that I object in the least." Sirius merely burst out laughing.  
  
"Where are all your precious morals now? So, the hermit is not quite as adverse to the pleasures of the flesh as one was led to believe." Sirius sat smirking in at his friend, who was an even deeper shade of red then before. Stuttering, Remus made his hasty retreat to the kitchen under the pretence of getting glasses.  
  
"Honestly, Sirius, I do not understand how you can manage to read so much into such a simple statement," he called from the safety of the next room.  
  
Sirius only continued to laugh.  
  
Remus re-entered the kitchen to find that Sirius had now finished the dishes and was vigorously drying them with one of Remus's threadbare dish clothes. Bottle in hand, Remus made for one of the open cupboards; grabbing two tumblers, he motioned for Sirius to follow him.  
  
"You don't mind if we move back into the living room, do you?" he asked over his shoulder as Sirius put down the towel with visible reluctance as if he were about to face a great ordeal.  
  
"No . no not at all." Sirius said as he lowered himself onto the extremely low-slung couch. Remus rested comfortably into an armchair, setting the bottle and glasses on a small coffee table. He uncorked the bottle and filled the tumblers half full. Picking one up, he warily offered it to Sirius.  
  
Sirius examined it for a moment (understandably so, for it was of a very peculiar colour somewhere between beige and gold, and of a semi-opaque nature that made it startlingly different from most other more common sprits, though equally potent). He gulped it down in one fell swoop, eyes widening as the sour milk taste hit him. Remus remained still, his eyes fixed expectantly on his companion.  
  
"Another," Sirius spoke, looking up.  
  
"No. Not until you start telling me what you came here to tell me. I want you to reach the end of whatever it is you're going to say before you are too intoxicated to make sense," Remus replied with finality.  
  
Shrugging his shoulders in a resigned way, Sirius took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I am sure you have heard of the Triwizard tournament that was held at Hogwarts this past year and how Harry was in it."  
  
"I had heard of the tournament, yes, but I thought the rules were changed so that younger wizards could not participate."  
  
"They were," was Sirius' grim answer. "Didn't Dumbledore tell you?" One look at Remus's face told him that of course Dumbledore had not. "Just like him, never mind. The old fool. Tells you everything in riddles, and then only when you're in a fix; God forbid the rest of us should be a party to his omnipotence.  
  
"I have been corresponding with him all year; getting information out of him is like trying to get mercy from a Deatheater. But never mind. Yes, Harry was in the tournament; didn't you read about it in The Daily Prophet?"  
  
"Unfortunately, it's very hard to get newspapers owled to this area, so I gave up. Pity. I could have been of some help, I'm sure."  
  
"Don't worry; Harry had enough help as it was. More then enough as it turned out." Sirius was looking unhappily into the fire. "Harry has it too rough, what with all the publicity and everyone always trying to barge into his life. It just isn't right for a boy his age to have to deal with all that on top of everything else." He glanced up at Remus. He looked out of place in the comfortable homeliness of this man's cottage: a haggard messenger of ill tidings in a place that should be filled with playful children and mothers knitting. Life was not fair, but then again it never was.  
  
Lupin remained silent, and seeing that his friend obviously was not about to make any immediate comment of refill his glass until he continued, he had no choice but to do so, and did.  
  
"Harry got through all right, but as it turned out the Dark Arts teacher, Mad-eye Moody. You remember him - the one that used to come round sometimes and scare us senseless back in our first year. Well, he turned out to be working for Voldemort." Sirius paused; he must have noticed the look of sheer disbelief on his listener's face. "Oh. Sorry I forgot to tell you, but he was of course not the real Moody. He was none other than Bart Couch; remember the Deatheater who got thrown into Azkaban back when they were doing those mass trials, rounding up the last of them? His own father threw him in but that I'm sure you know."  
  
Remus nodded that yes, he did know.  
  
"Well, the bastard used a Polyjuice potion and kept the real Mad-eye Moody locked in his own magic trunk all year. I suspect the old loon will be even more paranoid now then ever before. But anyway, Moody, the fake one, pulled some very nasty stunts and offed two of the three other competitors in the last task." Here he paused for a moment, tapping his glass pointedly. Remus refilled it without pause this time and Sirius continued.  
  
"Did you teach a student by the name of Diggory while you were there, by any chance?" Sirius asked somewhat tentatively. Remus must have noticed this, for he paused before nodding.  
  
"A Hufflepuff; very good student, upright, noble, and a fine boy. Wasn't he to graduate this year? I think he told me he wanted to become an Auror. I told him it was thankless work but he seemed eager; that was the type of person he was. You have to respect him for it. Why did you ask?"  
  
"He was the other that participated in the tournament. He and Harry both apparently reached the cup at the same time; as it turned out, the fake Moody had made the cup a Portkey." He paused again, taking a long drink before he continued.  
  
"I remember Harry telling me that he had had these dreams . dreams of Wormtail talking to someone. His scar had started to bug him again. I told him to go to Dumbledore, but, as you well know, I am no expert in dreams; that was always more your field, and well, he's a teenager. Strange dreams are natural.  
  
"The Portkey took both him and Diggory to some Godforsaken graveyard. I can't remember all of what he told me, but somehow Wormtail, that bloody little rat, preformed some damned dark spell and it gave physical form to Voldemort, who tried to Ava Kedavra on Harry, or was that before? Merlin's beard, it was all too awful. The Diggory boy tried to protect Harry and intercepted the curse and is now dead. Then Voldemort apparently called the Deatheaters, and challenged Harry to some sort of bloody duel. Harry's wand ended up reacting to Voldemort's. Did you know that they had the same core? And by some stroke of fortune, Harry managed to get away and used the Portkey to get back to Hogwarts with Diggory's body. Dumbledore heard this and uncovered the fake Moody. Everyone had been in a real uproar when the two had disappeared. You have no idea; the wait for them to return was almost unbearable. I think Dumbledore must've knocked me out because I don't remember most of it, but I truly feared for his life as I have never done before, even back when we had known that Lilly and James were in danger.  
  
"Nevertheless, he came back, and thank all the gods and fates that helped him, not excluding Mr. Olivander. He was horribly shaken when he got back and Dumbledore confronted Fudge, who of course had been there for the tournament, and tried to get him to take some action. He wants to see the Deatheaters out of Azkaban once and for all and re-extend the branch of friendship to the giants. Neither of these things Fudge was willing to accept so they have parted ways.  
  
"I, along with others, have been sent out to rally all those known to be loyal to Dumbledore . to prepare. It looks like bad times are ahead, and to tell the truth, I am starting to see why Fudge was so willing to deny the possibility. It is almost too horrible to think that He is back. But from Dumbledore's reaction, I can't doubt it.  
  
"It looks like war, old chap, just like back when we were just out of school. I had hoped that it would be over when Harry vanquished that snake the first time but I guess it was too good to be true. I just don't see how it can be possible, and here we are unable to even find him, with the Ministry of Magic vetoing all action. There's nothing to do, leaving all of it to Harry and Dumbledore; can't they see." Sirius trailed off, fists clenched. Once he had started, the words had come tumbling out of him like a burden he had been forbidden to share but was too heavy for him to bear alone - something that, once triggered, could not be stopped. Now, however, he looked exhausted and hopeless; his shoulders slumped pitifully, his being radiating an almost tangible aura of despair and helpless frustration.  
  
For the first time Remus picked up his own glass and took a very long drink of Goblin's Old.  
  
***  
  
This is the first edited edition of this chapter, if you are new. that's great! Now go forth and enjoy the rest of the fic. Many thanks to selendrile who bataed this for me and thanks to all of you who have reviewed thus far. Thanks a bunch and as always, R and R. 


	2. All Good Things interlude

**Chapter Two: All Good Things**

For a long moment the two just sat while the fire, unaware of the solemnity of the circumstances, continued to blaze merrily, hopping hither and thither within the grate and over the slowly surrendering logs. The lamps had burned low growing tired, and were themselves keenly aware of the lateness of the hour, being of the old Wizarding variety and well aware what a proper bed time should be. 

Oblivious to everything else Sirius refilled his tumbler, his hands unsteady, and once more drained it. Remus merely looked off into the dark void of the hall as if he could see the ghostly shadows of white robes already moving in its depths. The two continued in this stunned tableau for a long while, until the bottle was empty and nothingness lay so heavily in the air that it was almost impossible to breath lest one choke on it. 

"Harry? He will be all right?" Remus asked his voice a little shaky, breaking the hallowed silence. 

"He. h-Harry? Oh he will be fine. Perfect! For now… Until they get him, and they will, and he'll fight. He knows how to fight. Have you ever seen? Great at Quidditch, just like Prongs. He'll get those bloody bastards, they killed his parents. Oh, he'll get them. He'll have them by the wand end. I know he will… But if he dies there will be no one to get them. Then those bloody little cockroaches will come and and." 

Sirius had gotten up, his face dangerously flushed; emotions seemed to flit over it like memories in an over full pensive. He swayed for a moment. Unsteadily he stepped forward bumping his shin on the coffee table and letting forth a stream of angry expletives. 

Remus roused himself from his frozen state with a pronounced sluggishness, his face also flushed, but still in full possession of his characteristic calm. Although he walked somewhat unsteadily, he tugged the dark hared man's robe with a steady hand. 

"We're both to drunk and it's too late to worry about these things now, let's just go to bed." For a man that had just consumed a rather generous quantity of Goblin's Old his voice was remarkably purposeful, however the slight sway in his step betrayed him. 

"Don't touch me, I can't sleep yet… Harry might be in danger, we can't wait, you're like Fudge aren't you, you're going to be just another filthy stinking traitor just like Fudge. Don't touch me!" 

Sirius tried to push the hand off his robes but miscalculated and threw his weight off balance. He fell ungracefully on to the rug bringing Remus down with him. 

"I'm sorry" he said almost immediately his face in the dim light looked stricken and close to tears. "I'm sorry, I'm a nice person, really. I didn't mean for anything to happen, you know me better than that don't you?" Sirius' voice begged reassurance as he continued to mutter apologies even after Remus, in his somewhat slowed state, had forgiven him. 

It is odd how thoughts of a totally different nature can enter into the mind of person at the oddest of times. Remus with his feet apparently trapped in the table legs seemed on the verge of once more pushing for them both to retire. Sirius however did not share his friend's intentions. He continued to lie were he had fallen clutching Remus by his side. 

"Do you still think we are young? I-I mean…" 

He trailed off still trying to figure out what he had meant and was not quite sure. Lupin raised himself looking over his friend and fumbling to disentangle himself. He made no response until he was standing. 

"Yes. We are still relatively young, you and I. We defiantly aren't old." 

"Remus." Sirius stretched out a groggy hand as if not quite sure and staggered as his friend helped him up. 

"No not us... Ha! Old! phutt. I'm not old, you. It's you who is old, you even have gray hair." 

He clumsily brushed his hand though his companion's hair, smoothing the traces of premature gray at the temples. Remus pushed the hand away and over his shoulder, wrapping his own arm around Sirius's waist and begun to man handle him towards the open door beyond which lay the bedroom. 

"I didn't know you felt like that." Sirius added in a drunken chuckle. Than dramatically his face changed, suddenly to be clouded with an irrational anger. 

"What about the jar?" He demeaned. 

"What jar? Sirius I don't know what you're talking about." At this Sirius pushed away the other man as best her could, an angry snarl on his lips 

"You know what I mean, the jar, the blue one, in the bathroom. It's empty." Sirius gripped a nearby chair in an effort to remain upright but sill managed to glare accusingly at Remus. The other man was looking sad and a shifted nervously. 

"I don't have the faintest clue what you mean. You're drunk and by the looks of it you are going to have a massive hang over tomorrow so the sooner you get to sleep the better. We can worry about other things later." 

Over the course of this rather overly sensible speech Remus seemingly had regained control over whatever guilt had flickered the instant previously, for now he looked sternly into the darkness. Although Sirius couldn't possibly have been able to see his friend's parental expression, he let out a laugh. As quickly as it had come the man's mood had changed. 

"Pity you never had kids, you make the perfect father." Sirius said falling heavily on the bed. Remus said nothing, being preoccupied with unbuttoning Sirius' robe. 

"Not as who I am." 

A rustle of old fabric followed the rather cryptic response. In the dark the domestic sounds of one person doing the implacably human thing of getting ready for bed could be heard. While Remus left the room and the sound of water running could be heard in the next room Sirius lay quietly. He must have been fighting sleep, and the moment Remus reentered arrayed in full nighttime regalia, he spoke. 

"That isn't what I meant." his voice still slightly slurred but now more by sleep. Remus shuffled across the floor in bathroom slippers, his loose pajamas rustling, but stopped when he heard Sirius. 

"I mean I have Harry, and you do too, if you like. And about being old I meant all Wizards." There was a sort thunk in the darkness as if an arm had fallen back to the covers after being flung out haphazardly. 

"Are we old. Is this just the end?" 

Remus didn't at first answer he looked lost in thought and when he did his voice sounded tight as if he were talking to a bothersome child or a person who had insulted his mother. 

"No Sirius I don't think we as a community are about to go into extinction any time in the near future." 

His response it seemed had fallen on deaf ears, for regular snores rose from the slightly raised lump in the center of Remus's small bed. With a long-suffering sigh the standing man pushed gently at the sleeping man. Taking his place on the extreme edge of the bed he disappeared into the blankets. 

Remus, however addled his brain must have been, did not seem to fall asleep immediately. His breathing remained soft and wakeful for long moments as the snores of Sirius filled the darkened room. This however can be no great surprise considering the numerous revelations to which he had been exposed in the course of one relatively short evening. 

*** 

So in this state we will leave them for the present, since the author has no great wish to be by when Sirius awakens, seeing as she has a vague impression that she will be the first blamed for any hangovers that are to be experienced presently. 

AN: God this isn't half as well written as I remember it. Reading over your work really shows you your flaws, oh well chalk it up to experience. It's sad not to have any reviews… 


	3. Must Come to an End

_AN: I would like to sincerely apologize for not posting this two weeks ago when I originally planned to. I have been busy to an extreme, what with school, night school, kendo, work and all, but I'm sure you can imagine. I am also really sorry I have not had a chance to look over my e-mail and respond properly to you that sent me messages. For that I am really really sorry, don't give up on me, I'm just helplessly disorganized. You who volunteered to Bata, you know who you are, please feel free to do so still and again I apologize for not getting back to you._

Chapter Three: Must Come to an End

Remus was not surprisingly, the first to wake up the next morning. He rose carefully due to his somewhat precarious position on the extreme edge of the bed. For a grown up Sirius apparently still had the child's bad habit of kicking and tossing in his sleep, so rising must have been more of a relief than a punishment. Rolling slightly and catching him self on one foot before he fell bodily out of bed. Standing he shivered in the cool of the morning and stretched stiffly. 

He very wisely made no move to wake the sleeping Padfoot. With the quantity of liquor that he had consumed the previous night, or more accurately earlier this morning his headache would be extreme. If Remus too had a headache he did not show it. Perhaps that was one of the few benefits of being a werewolf, but since no one had seemingly ever thought to ask one, it is assumed we will never know. 

Pulling on a shoddy dressing gown that had been hanging inauspiciously over the door, Remus shuffled out of his bedroom. His face was grim as if he were going over all that he had herd last night and was only now processing it's implications. This is so often the case in humans. Big shocks can on occasions not effect a person until after they had considered a thing of the past, then as if it were lurking under the bed, as a child hood terror, shock sinks in. and leaves you week kneed and scared to move. In this was it can be said that it is indeed true that the past still hurts us.

It has however been found, if not strictly in the most scientific manner, that coffee is always good sustenance to take in at such a time. Perhaps it is not for it's chemical properties but that it is the habit of humans to slow down and contemplate while they drink it. That, it can be concluded, is the root of it's healing power. So like any normal human being, and similar to many other wizards who had also herd the news, Remus with a flick of his wand set the fire blazing in the old cast iron stove and moved to the sink to fill the empty kettle. 

By the time the coffee was dribbling through the now stained filter into the chipped enamel coffee pot, and the delicious aroma of percolating coffee had filled the small house, ominous rustling could be herd form the bed room. Remus still looking grave, rose his eyes from his contemplation of an empty shelf to look in it's direction in time to see a bare like figure emerge warped in the bed clothes. It looked for all the world like something that had just crawled out of a den and 5 months of hibernation. 

"Good morning. There's coffee if you what it." Considerate as always, Remus, after a moment of not receiving more than a grunt, continued. "… and a pep-up potion in the cabinet above the sink make sure you check the expiry date before you drink it." To this he received what looked to be a nod of thanks and another grunt, but that might have merely been the rustling of the sheet, and blanket as Sirius continued his unsteady pilgrimage to the loo. 

Continuing to gaze into his coffee cup in a highly distressed manner, but giving no other outward sign of his thoughts Remus sat unmoving until Sirius looking decidedly less bear-like reappeared. He was still caring the bedclothes but this time over his arm. Steam still rose for his ears and his nose twitched as if he would like very much to sneeze, the after effects of a pep-up potion.

"We'll have to walk to the village today, I am completely out of flour, tea and milk powder and I must find an owl." 

"Wizarding or Muggle?" Sirius asked retreating once again into the bedroom.

"I'm sorry what?" Remus looked, with some confusion at the doorframe through which his friend had just disappeared. 

"The village." Sirius prompted sounding slightly flustered as if trying to make the bed and not able to properly tuck in the side nearest the wall. This is of course a guess, but that is what is perhaps the most logical explanation. "Is it Muggle or Wizarding?"

"Oh! I'm sorry. Muggle, Dumbledore thought it wise that I should not run the risk of being found out by too many wizards, come to think of it perhaps he already knew you would be coming here and expected a situation like this all along." 

"Omnipresent old bat. That would be just like him. But I would have assumed that if he had even suspected such a thing he would have taken some sort of action. Harry was in very serious danger, he was very nearly killed. It was really a completely irresponsible move on his part if he even so much as suspected that Voldemort would come back for good..." As he trailed off his face darkened in anger and although he had not said it he looked decidedly put out by the thought of any premonition on the part of the headmaster. 

"Come now Padfoot, think of it reasonably, I don't know weather you heard it from Harry or not but there has been some sort of adventure concerning Voldemort every year since Harry stated at that school. It would have been preposterous for Dumbledore to close the whole school on the off chance of yet another attempt on Harry's life and safety. And if he were to give any more attention to Harry, students like Malfoy would surly pick up on it and Harry would be more segregated than he already is." This statement thought quite reasonably stated did not however appear to quiet Sirius's temper.

"I hadn't known that Voldemort attacked both years, how can Dumbledore have not been more prepared? How could he have not noticed that Madeye was a fake? He must have known!" he growled the last letting full meaning of his words fill the air and drip though the still dribbling coffee filter to embitter even further Remus's cup.

"Sirius that was totally uncalled for." Remus replied not looking up as he spooned extra sugar into his second cup. "Dumbledore would have done something had he known. I am sure he always has Harry's best interests at heart whatever mistakes he might have made last year. Furthermore he is, as we all know the only wizard Voldemort was known to fear and our best leader when it comes to facing him again, we can not go doubting him now." He set down the mug his voice echoing around the small room with a sternness that it did not often command. Sirius could only look at his hands as if reluctant to meet his friends eye. It was a long minuet before either of them spoke. 

"You said something about going to some village or other, is there anything I can do?" this obvious plea for forgiveness must have fallen on feeling ears because when Remus replied it was in his normal gentle voice.

"No, I wouldn't want to put you in danger, but I won't say no to the company, I can manage just fine, you stay in your anamigus form and everything should go well." 

Sirius who seemed a little miffed at being dismissed grumble for a minuet, before raising his head some looking somewhat shamefaced.

"What happened last night… exactly" for a second there was a heavy pause, them in a perfectly even voice Remus replied.

"Absolutely nothing." At that they both looked a bit uncomfortable, Sirius perhaps slightly more so.

"It has been a long time, and I would understand if…" Sirius seemed unwilling to finish this thought but one can only guess why, Remus' response was equally as cryptic. 

"NO!… no not at all, I would have no objections, in fact I am happy to, but that is another matter… perhaps when everything has calmed down again…" his companion merely sighed. 

"Sometimes I wonder if that day will ever come." Was Sirius's morose reply. Then again after a pause that seemed heavy and meaningful in an altogether too comfortable way. "You said something about a village, when are we planning to go." 

"Yes, yes. That of course, we can go right now if you like" Remus rose seemly regaining much of his usual composure as he did so. "Just give me a minuet to get everything together and we'll be off." Robes swishing he left the room leaving Sirius staring hopefully at the abandoned coffee cup. 

***

The sun fell hot on the backs of the man and the dog as they toiled up a rigorous incline the first ladened with packages form their excursion. It had been a successful one or so it appeared from the quantity of brown paper bags the man carried. The man would occasionally make some comment on the landscape of their trip to his canine companion, seeming not at all discouraged by his lack of reply. 

"You see that hill way off in the distance, over the moor to our left. That is the closest unchartable location form my house." Then a pause. "It's horrible in winter, you feel cut off from everything but the spring makes it all seem worth while. I can't tell you the joy one feels when one first sees a fresh new green tendril make it's first tentative appearance or the rush of pleasure that one gets when the brooks run with the melting snow." At this last the dog looked decidedly skeptical and if a dog could be described as looking such, mocking. The man in his turn only continued to smile pleasantly. As at last the two approached incline of the dell in which Remus's cottage lay. 

Upon descending into an area more hidden than the rest, they stopped and they dog began to change form, not of course to anyone's great surprises, into the be-robed figure of Sirius.

"Honestly. I'm sure you wouldn't have such a poetic view for spring if you had lived through it every second with no hope of escape or shelter from wind rain and the elements, winter too for that matter." Remus's only reply was a smile as Sirius took up some of the heavier packages, despite them being almost at the door.

20 yards further on a rough stone bridge over a trickle marked the beginnings of Remus' land, and with in ten more they were standing on the front step. Sirius waiting idly as Remus fumbled in the pocket of him Muggle trousers for his wand. 

"Alohamora. Take your shoes off will you. I'm just going to run these through to the kitchen to put them away. Then why don't we have some tea, this time there's fresh milk." With that Remus disappeared through the living room into the kitchen. 

The house was a totally different place in daylight, the pervious night it had been a shadowy infinite mass of unknown dimensions. Day showed it to be a comfortable, practical if slightly rustic cottage. Probably once belonging to some poor shepherd or self proclaimed hermit. Despite it's age everything reflected it's owner, the chairs rugs and indeed all the objects that filled every corner of the house were old and worn, but still comfortable and serviceable. Uniting his shoes Sirius arranged them beside his friend's and passed out of the tiny passage and through the living room to the kitchen were Remus was carefully storing his purchases away in the many cupboards. 

It might be merely the imagination of the author but for moment Sirius' eye rested on Remus' turned back in amore then friendly manner, if it was there the look vanished the moment Remus turned. 

"I'm sorry but would you mind making the tea. I have to change into my robes" Remus looked up at his friend. 

"Sure. I can put the rest of this away too if you like." 

"Thanks that would be wonderful of you, could you put the kettle on while you're at it?" Remus then turned disappearing thought the door and presumably into his bedroom.

Sirius stood for a moment seemingly at a loss, he looked slightly uneasy, perhaps even disappointed, but then again since he seemed in no hurry to offer an explanation for his particular change in facial expression to the empty room one must only guess what had changed his mood.

Rummaging thought the remaining bags he started to dispose of the goods, opening cupboards to see what when were. Everything seemed to have a home with the exception of a box of elastics and a pot of some ambiguous substance. Moving on Sirius picked up the kettle filling it at the white enameled sink. Once full he crossed back to the giant old-fashioned cast iron stove, there was however no fire and glancing around Sirius must have all so seen that there was no wood, this of course was not in the least bit surprising but offered a problem to the wandless wizard.

"Damn it, why didn't I think to get a wand for Dumbledore before I set out here. Merlin's overextended elbow! Why didn't I think of this before!" 

Muttering he let the kettle rest on the cold stovetop, it's contence sloshing wetly, before he followed the footsteps of his friend. The door to the bedroom was ajar and Sirus pushed it open seemingly without a second thought. Remus was standing still before the window, his hand's resting on the sill fastened buttons of a Muggle shirt that was beginning to fray a little at the cuffs, but still retained an air of longsuffering which it transferred to the wearer. He was apparently lost in thought, which accounted for why he was not long changed and back in the kitchen.

"You look like you did when there was something on your mind back in school" Sirius said as he stepped further in to the room, Remus shifted as he did so, looking up from his examination of the sun sparkling off what could be see of the tiny brook. Somewhat uneasily he turned back to Sirius as if caught out the latter raised his hands 

"I'm sorry, I can't start the fire for the tea." 

"Oh yes. I'm sorry, I'll be out in a minute" Sirius turned to leave but stopped as his friend begin again. He turned back in to the bedroom. "Do you ever think back to those days, to Hogwarts." He was unbuttoning he shirt as he said this fiddling with the small buttons.

"Ye-es." Sirius answered his voice strange. He cleared his throat.

"They were good times, those days, weren't they." Remus sounded wistful the gray in his hair picked up by the light might have remind the onlooker of an old solider or a jaded monarch, perhaps the Anglo-Saxon Christ before crucifixion. His torso bare awaiting penetration. Perhaps not. 

"They were" Sirius said. He seemed at a loss, merely looking at his friend.

"We had our troubles just the same. Some times I worry that Harry has so much more to trouble him than we must have done, then I think back to what we were like at that age, how we felt untouchable, we were gods." He gave a slight laugh, not so much bitter as amused. "We weren't." Sirius' voice was truly bitter but edged with regret.

"No indeed we were not." Again, the laugh.

"Do you regret what happened after?"

"After Hogwarts?"

"Yes." 

"Of course I regret Lilly and James' death, with out question, it would be heartless of me if I didn't. They were too young, it was cruel that they died, not merely for Harry's sake but for us and all their friends. " Remus seemed mildly shocked that Sirius would even ask such a question but Sirius just continued to look at him as if there was more he had meant but now seemed hesitant to put into words. 

"They weren't the only thing I missed." Sirius' words seemed waited as if baring a burden that he could not truly hide. Remus continued to change out of him Muggle attire, unfastening his trousers.

"For all the gods," Sirius exclaimed "didn't' you miss _me_?" He looked tense, angry. And continued to stand perfectly still for a long moment. 

"So that's what you were getting at." Remus' cool response seemed to though the other man for a loop. He just stared at Remus as he reached for his robe. Worn, like everything else he owned. "Yes… I think I missed you most of all." "Good, I'd hate to find that I took second place" Sirius replied the repressible youthful grin back on his face all his anger gone.

"Do you what to discuses this more over tea?"

"Not in the least" Sirius stepped across the room as he said this all the dour attitudes of the night before dropped. He reached out grabbing Remus' hand as he did so pulling him roughly too his feet. 

"There we are then." Remus said smiling but still clam even though he looked slightly squashed in his companion over-exuberant embrace. Remus moved as if to free himself.

"Doesn't all of this strike you as a bit sudden, you have been gone for such a long time. I won't pretend that I have been loyally awaiting your return all these years." Sirius' face darkened and Remus added hastily, but sill in the same reasonable voice "..all thought I have been hoping." He let his words trail off the purr leaving a suggestive and echo floating around the room. Sirius however still looked a little put out. 

"I waited." The man's pride was obviously hurt. 

"Even as a dog?" to this there was a pause. The silence became heavy in the room; not even the small mirror in the living room seemed to have any comment as it observed through the open bedroom door. 

"No, no I…" Sirius looked cornered but made no move to release the other man. 

Moving in Sirius' embrace Remus this time succeeded in disengaging himself from the darker man. He grasped Sirius' arm and taking the few steps to the bed where he sat down pulling the other man with him.

"We're only human…" Remus smiled at his friend, before adding with a heavier note of sadness. "and we know it only too well, let's not worry over what's done and over with, from what you told me last night there are in all likely hood greater concerns that lie ahead of us with out our wasting our energies on what is unchangeable." 

Sirius' seemed to have no verbal response to this, and he moved in a quick almost invisible motion to crush his friend against the bed. The swift change in mood brought everything back into sharp focus, but Remus' words remaining in his taught shoulders and fast jerky movements. 

After the initial scuffle of bodies posited in open but clumsy desire resolved it's self, Remus pushed himself up, his lips red and his usually neat hair ruffled, the gray strands at the temples flying off to the side as if the moorland wind had sweat thorough the cottage. 

"Tea?" he said making another attempt at rising only to be pushed back firmly into the mattress by his amorous companion. 

"Ah…Hell…num…" Were the only distinguishable words of Sirius' reply. Recovering once again Remus made a move to get up as Sirius began to unfasten the buttons of his robe. 

"I said I didn't want tea." Sirius frowned irritably as his fiend rose from the bed in a sorely disheveled state. 

"There are other things in the kitchen besides tea." Remus said smiling as he disappeared heading unhurriedly for the kitchen. Leaving Sirius' baffled expression in his wake. He returned a moment later with the container Sirius had noticed earlier.

"You planed for this?" He sounded incredulous. 

"The possibility of this occurring had crossed my mind." He smiled Sirius' only response was a hearty laugh as he grabbled his friend and none to gently yanked him back onto Remus' small twin bed were they fumbled with each other's robes. 

"Sirius, be a little more careful, my wand's in that pocket." A chuckle and the rustling of worn cloth was Remus' only response. 

Soon they lay naked on the bed, pale flesh turned a darker healthier hue by the orange rays of the lowering sun, the jar that Remus had set on the night stand casting a long blue translucent shadow as Sirius moved to pick it up.

"I had no idea they still made this stuff, and in the same damn jar too, Remus you are quite the shameless sentimentalist." Form his sprawled position on the bed Remus responded with a characteristic smile, his quite dignity not the least impeded by the oddness of his position or lack of garb. 

"I thought you might appreciate it, you can't accuse me of forgetting." Another laugh. 

"Certainly not, not the way you've been carrying on. I'd even go so far as to say…" here he trailed off leaving the room at large at some what of a loss as to what he meant, Sirius only, by his expression seemed to understand.

"I would not doubt your expertise in that, we aren't school boys in the shower room any more, this isn't merely to prove ourselves. At least not for me." Remus continued looking serious.

"Perhaps being locked away also stopped me from advancing in other areas, but no, I agree, we aren't boys anymore." The silence that followed this was a comfortable one, perhaps the kind to be found in a warmed green house, occasionally interrupted with the movement of some primordial force.

On the bed the two moved restlessly. A volley of curses as the jar refused to open. Then the lid was thrown irritably onto the floor were it rolled dejectedly; now excluded form the bed's activities. Fast, unplanned movement contrasting and emphasized by the slow silence that flowed unheeded through the house.

"Gently… not so far all at once"

"Is that better?"

"Yesss…"

"Here put some on yourself… no I'll do it" 

"Were did the lid go?"

"We'll find it latter."

"Well oh amorous one… um-um… ahhh-ummm"

Their bodies tangled in weird complex knots, the house contunuing it's quite rhythms undisturbed, but in the sphere of their intent lay all forms of sound and touch. So involved were they that they did not feel the room cooling, and the last slowly fading rays of the sun as it left, dwindling slowly as if on tiptoe so as not to interrupt, but regretful to miss such a sight.

A moan rose from the pair, long and low it held its carnal note clearly only punctuated by another's heavy breathing. In the now shadowy room, the bed creaked rhythmically. Everything was stillness and silence save the two enjoying the physical delights like the most sensuous candy on the old bed. 

Unaware they continued their adult games with a childlike delight, a hand playing over flushed skin, tousled hair, a bare expanse of neck. All of this rising to a crescendo, thought it was lost on the shirt flung over the chair that overlooked it all unmoved. From the bed the muffled sounds intensified and the sound of sweat slicked flesh meshing together became more irregular. This had happened before, but this time silence followed and the rustle of sheets and blankets as the chill of the darkened room finally once more arrested it's self on the still pink skin of the two on the small bed. 

Looks of contentment filtered through the darkness, as would dimly glowing beacons. Voice still rough sounding more beast than man. Sirius first spoke as if troubled by something.

"What was that then?" 

"The sex?" Sirius nodded. "Just another event in our haphazard relationship." Sirius looked at his partner sharply a quick move that cut through the growing gloom. 

"Is that all?" his voice was tight, volatile perhaps not angry as of yet but easily pushed to explosive extremes.

"If you want it to be more I have no objection, but as of right now lets enjoy it without adding to it the weight of significance." 

Sirius chuckled at this, his face a little flushed, and he fumbled to light the lamp by the bedside.

"We must find that lid or else this stuff will be wholly unusable, why are you turning on the light?" Sirius had disentangled himself form the bed clothes in a tired fashion and now was riffling through Remus' robe. His foot was only inches away form the lost lid but he made no move to pick it up perhaps he had not noticed it.

"I don't like the dark." He replied simply as he moved back to the bed, tapping the lamp, neither the lamp nor the wand responded in the least.

"Here I'll do it, you get the lid it's right there." Remus said taking his wand form his friends hand and pointing to the floor, the shadows hid it, and it was not till Remus had lit the lamp that Sirius could see it, and bend down to pick it up. His flesh shone on his darker sink imbue it with an inner radiance, that the living room mirror found decidedly indecent and screamed that he should, "Shut the door you hooligan!" 

Catching it with his foot as he returned to bed for the second time they both laughed, as children caught out in some prank and knowing they were guilty but not fearing the consequences.

"Were in the world did you find the old bat?" Sirius asked sober but still smiling.

"I think she came with the house." Remus replied smiling indulgently.

Despite the glow of the lamp the room felt dark, or was it just that worry returned to haunt the faces of the two who had lain so conformably in the small be just moments before. 

"About what you said, why was it just sex?" Sirius did not look angry this time but there was a darker quality to his features as if shadowed by some external force more worrisome than the night.

"It isn't as if I don't want you, it is only that from what you told me last night, I think that everyone can see that there are black times ahead." Sirius' jaw worked.

"We've waited for years, it isn't fair" Sirius might have sounded childish if his voice was not so deadly earnest.

"I merely do not wish to complicate matters further, when all of this is over then, we can think about sex being more than just sex, in the meantime there are other things to do and more important actives we should focus our attentions on." Sirius sighed in defeat thought with every movement of his body language it looked like he was set against the arrangement.

"Harry and Dumbledore should be told that I have found you, and there are others I must notify, I think I should leave tomorrow." Sirius said gruffly. Remus looked sad as if he were blaming himself for pushing his friend away so soon, but from the silence that followed the exchange neither looked likely to withdraw their statements.

Dark settled threateningly at the edges of the lamp's glow. The invisible spaces beyond once more becoming a place of dangerous unknown. Both seemed to feel its malignance and did not stir. 

"Harry will win." Sirius was the one to voice this random comment. Remus only nodded but both seemed to feel how weak it was hanging in the air like a feeble hope in a great void of pressing despair.

At length they did rise, but with little talk the nigh seemed heavy on every thing and brought it's courtly host of depressions with it. The two puttered about fulfilling menial tasks. When they were to retire Sirius moved to stay on the couch for the night, and Remus with out much protest agreed, both seemed too separate now in the dark to share a bed. Misery only loves company when not already companion to guilt.

*** The morning dawned bright, and all traces of the dark were obliterated by the soft rays of morning and the twitter of birds. Sirius had risen early, and Remus soon followed. They had sat silent but comfortably so, through the better part of breakfast but now the pressure to speak was once more making it's self felt.

"were do you go form here?" Remus said addressing his friend calmly but with a touch of what could perhaps be mistaken as regret.

"On down to Devon, to scare up as many of our old allies as possible and to spread the word" Sirius looked haunted as if thoughts of the purpose of his journey stirred unpleasant doubts, but he did not mention them if such thoughts did so one can only guess.

"Do you need anything." Remus looked hopeful, but his face relapsed into its customary look of gentle concern when Sirius merely shook his head.

"I can't take anything as a dog, and as a human I would be caught almost immediately." 

"in that case I will make sure that you will at least have a good lunch." Remus smiled ruefully as if regretting that there was no greater service he could provide. "What of me thought am I to sit here until called upon?" there was this time an unmistakable edge of bitterness to his words that seemed to surface from no were.

"I don't know Dumbledore only told me to inform you of our circumstances and tell you to be ready should he give notice. Cryptic as always, if you want to know details you'll have to owl him yourself." Sirius must have not picked up on his friend's mood change or if he had he had chosen to ignore it for he made no inquires and sat at the table filing his rough and chipped nails with a handy file, the picture of self absorption. 

Remus moved to the stove muttering lunch possibilities under his breath. 

***

At noon sharp the two sat down to what looked like at first glance to be a full-scale banquet, vegetable soup, a roast, fresh bread of the French variety, various clod meats and cheeses and several varieties of potatoes and vegetables. Despite the temperatures being quite warm the two drank mugs of butter bear, and in Sirius case a very little Goblin's old, conjured like magic by Remus just before they were to begin. 

They did not talk much over the meal, but this time it was more for physical reasons than any disinclination. The sun was high over head, and the house had once more returned to its friendly state. Voldemort and thoughts of possible raids, Death Eaters, and ultimate failure were banished in the face of a hearty meal. They ate with gusto, until finally sitting back Sirius spook. 

"You know Moony I really should be going, I'm hoping to reach the motorway by 4 and hopefully make it to York tonight." Getting up as if he were taking his leave of a collogue at the ministry who he would see bright and early in the office the next morning never the less his voice had sounded strained and Remus must have picked up on this thought he chose to merely nod replying in kind.

It was not till they were at the door and the moor stretched before a riot of chaotic life, wild and full of hidden holes and unforeseen descents that they said more 

"It looks bleak even in the sun" Sirius turned surprised

"Yes, it does but not always" 

"Perhaps it will be more inviting in future."

"When it is all over, let's return here." Remus said as the tow stood before the door of the cottage the brook tinkling off to one side and the breeze cooling the heat of the sun as it climbed higher and higher over head.

"It's nice here, this house on the moor." Sirius said a he made a move to go shifting were he stood. 

"Yes it is." Remus smiled. Sirius as he had been no longer stood before him, but in his place stood a some what less shabby looking dog than the one that had arrived only two days previously. Remus bent down and gave it a hearty scratch behind the ears before it turned and trotted off over the babbling rill and disappeared into the heather. 

***

If you enjoyed my story and like slash I recommend my soon to be released fic; "the Darker Side of Financial Planning". Draco and Ron go at it, while trying to workout a successful investment plan for the Deatheater war chest. 

Sorry, I know that is a shame less piece of pub but form the number of review my stories seem to get I need all the help I can get. Thanks for baring with me and I'll love you forever all of you that reviewed. Comments and criticism are very much appreciated.

Thanks again 

Minion 


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